He told me he loves me. Present tense “love.”
I hope he’s sincere this time. Maybe we just need time. Time and a little more patience. I’m afraid actually. I’m becoming numb.
He’s so weird. He’s impossible. He wants to be mine.
I Became Indifferent
A funny thing happened last night.
I was praying to God that he’d text me just so I know if he misses me or at least just care. Right after I made the sign of the cross to finish my prayer, I heard my message alert tone.
There was a message from him.
Unbelievable right? I, too, was surprised. Extremely surprised.
I read his message and it was some sort of plea but not exactly a message directed to me. I shrugged and placed my phone back on the table. The next morning, I realized that he sent me another text 30 minutes after but I was already asleep that time. Oh, well.
I don’t know but I think I became indifferent towards him.
Last night was a blast. I wasn’t able to post this because I was out drinking and having fun with friends.
I saw someone last night. He looked like HIM. I suddenly missed him. Ugh. Feelings. Feelings mess things up like whoa.
I was happy last night though. Now I’m sobering up and smiling.
He smiled at me today.
I smiled back.
It was some kind of reflex or something. I don’t know. I’m confused. Even he confuses me. He has this vague tweets that I don’t really get but I guess that is the only way he could express his emotions. I mean, if he needed someone to talk to, I would volunteer. Too bad he’s just putting up a wall between him and reality.
I just miss him. I wonder if he misses me too.
Stupidity at Its Finest
I got a whole lot to do. I mean, a lot.
I am procrastinating and I blame all these emotions I am feeling right now. I hate being depressed. I can’t make my happiness overcome my depression. I mean, yes, I do laugh at jokes and stuff but I don’t feel it coming from my heart.
Ugh. I still want him to miss me. Am I stupid for asking that?
Talk some sense into me.
I got a lot of support from my friends and family. Very touching indeed.
I still have the urge to go to him though. Even I disappoint myself.
I’m sure I’d learn to remove him from my everyday habits. He’s part of my everyday but I have to learn to live everyday without him. So dramatic, I know.
I’m okay now. I hope he is too.
He Has Chosen
No. It’s not me.
It never was and it never will be.
At The Sidelines
Here we go again.
I did it. I said everything I wanted to say. I guess it was enough because I felt really good about it. My heart felt lighter actually. I just couldn’t contain every single emotion I felt in the past.
I feel better now; even though I know I’m just an option.
Maybe I should just stay here at the sidelines. I can wait.
I’ll be okay.
I Have to Get Myself Together
I woke up today thinking, I guess I should be brave enough to face life. I am seriously not a morning person. I hate mornings. I rarely even eat breakfast.
I made this blog today because I’ve been wondering if I should learn to trust people with what I think and what I should do about certain things in my life. Well, I usually mess things up but today seems to be a different kind of day.
I seriously want to get things together.
I guess I should start now.